To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.