She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.