He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon