It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Someone signed my nipple.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.