Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (904)

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Last Night in Florida (904)

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(904): View more from Florida

Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.

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(904): Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple. http://tfl.nu/t444

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Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?

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(904): Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already? http://tfl.nu/3n3w

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Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne

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(904): Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne http://tfl.nu/4m6j

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I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.

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Yeah he's good at that.

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(407): I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts. (904): Yeah he's good at that. http://tfl.nu/ekc4

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If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.

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(904): If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day. http://tfl.nu/6nok

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Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.

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(904): Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters. http://tfl.nu/kh3s

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the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless

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(904): the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless http://tfl.nu/5o22

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I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.

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(904): I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative. http://tfl.nu/a3af

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Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?

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(904): Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball? http://tfl.nu/6sr3

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You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.

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(904): You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition. http://tfl.nu/ww1r

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Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.

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So when does your new flight leave?

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At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying

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(734): Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight. (904): So when does your new flight leave? (734): At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying http://tfl.nu/33le

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Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.

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(904): Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions. http://tfl.nu/qtln

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I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...

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(904): I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast... http://tfl.nu/hk8s

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I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day

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(904): I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day http://tfl.nu/k829

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you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.

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(904): you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck. http://tfl.nu/a9rr

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Last Night in Florida (904)

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