Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.