When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
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"Sting" is a terrible name for a dick, definitely suggests you'll both need a visit to the clinic
I imagine the recipient of this text having a lot of weird dick jewelry that has to be explained.
Stolen from Cosmo sex tips
There are female LOTR fans. Where do you think all the Pervy Elf Fanciers and Pervy Hobbit Fanciers come from?
Not "The Bobbit!" "The HOBbit"!!
And then immediately turn around and kiss your chance of ever getting laid goodbye.
So it's an extra short sword. Right. That'll lure her in
So, it's like a dick...only smaller...?
- Said the virgin
[Adjusts nerd glasses] According to Chris Smith's "The Lord of the Rings Weapons and Warfare", Sting is 23 inches long. That's as long as about 4 dicks. My balls glow blue when hot women are close.
What does that even mean?