Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.