My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.