i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.