He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Women Are Tweeting Photos Of Their Underwear To Support Rape Victim Whose Thong Was Cited During Trial
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
21 ‘Don’t Say It’ Tweets That Are Gonna Get Said Every Damn Time
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.