High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
nutella sex= disaster
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
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