Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Illinois (708)

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  Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?

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  (708): Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him? http://tfl.nu/nbty
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  You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.

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  Was who let the dogs out playing?

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  Ya. You started barking when it ended

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  (708): You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving. (1-708): Was who let the dogs out playing? (708): Ya. You started barking when it ended http://tfl.nu/fyl8
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  My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.

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  (708): My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with. http://tfl.nu/rm3v
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  Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.

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  (708): Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night. http://tfl.nu/vsww
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  We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance

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  (708): We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance http://tfl.nu/osk3
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  What are you doing and how can I add sex in there

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  (708): What are you doing and how can I add sex in there http://tfl.nu/rphe
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  They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters

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  (708): They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters http://tfl.nu/nwd9
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  just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..

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  (708): just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car.. http://tfl.nu/c49r
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  Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis

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  Just arrived at our party

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  (708): Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis (773): Just arrived at our party http://tfl.nu/7hao
  Replies (18) Good night (3174) Bad night (344)
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  That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!

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  (708): That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed! http://tfl.nu/bhfj
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  Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.

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  (708): Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life. http://tfl.nu/mhw6
  Replies (13) Good night (2060) Bad night (404)
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  Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.

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  We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?

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  (708): Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning. (773): We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we? http://tfl.nu/hntu
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  he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.

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  (708): he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay. http://tfl.nu/sfnl
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  I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality

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  (708): I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality http://tfl.nu/1jam
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  is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro

  (773): View more from Illinois

  yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.

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  how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?

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  (708): is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro (773): yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house. (708): how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience? http://tfl.nu/hgr9
  Replies (10) Good night (4676) Bad night (363)