And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
my liver is dry heaving
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You're breaking my sexual little heart
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store