I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
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Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'm both gender and math confused
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.