Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
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You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.