He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I need to calm my uterus...
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers