Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (785)

Last Night in Kansas (785)

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There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.

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(785): There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha. http://tfl.nu/kiqc

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Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.

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(785): Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas. http://tfl.nu/amy7

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Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.

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The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...

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(785): Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark. (1-785): The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself... http://tfl.nu/up2w

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I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.

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(785): I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves. http://tfl.nu/0ncq

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His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.

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(785): His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less. http://tfl.nu/hesm

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Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?

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(785): Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird? http://tfl.nu/9vh0

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Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.

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(785): Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want. http://tfl.nu/2jiy

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He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.

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Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"

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(785): He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him. (785): Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!" http://tfl.nu/v4v8

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Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.

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(785): Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes. http://tfl.nu/4ozu

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I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.

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(785): I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight. http://tfl.nu/7eeo

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Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.

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(785): Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ. http://tfl.nu/krx2

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My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real

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(785): My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real http://tfl.nu/x4mj

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I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.

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(785): I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving. http://tfl.nu/gaew

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He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far

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(785): He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far http://tfl.nu/hear

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I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.

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(785): I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie. http://tfl.nu/su8u

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Last Night in Kansas (785)

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