I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.