why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
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Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito