I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick