spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football