I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT