Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (724)

Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense

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(724): I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense http://tfl.nu/8zya

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We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians

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(724): We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians http://tfl.nu/50hn

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i need some food

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Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.

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(724): i need some food (412): Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him. http://tfl.nu/mb52

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You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.

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(724): You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures. http://tfl.nu/2cky

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umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP

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(724): umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP http://tfl.nu/bluu

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I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.

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(724): I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower. http://tfl.nu/44q1

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It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.

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(724): It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over. http://tfl.nu/5f4b

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Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.

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(724): Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall. http://tfl.nu/yi3c

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I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.

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(724): I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show. http://tfl.nu/legh

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On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?

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(724): On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone? http://tfl.nu/9ka9

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She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.

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(724): She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment. http://tfl.nu/wo3z

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I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams

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(724): I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams http://tfl.nu/vjrr

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Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...

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(724): Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out... http://tfl.nu/jn6b

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You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.

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(724): You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great. http://tfl.nu/7v6n

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I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.

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(724): I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser. http://tfl.nu/pdzm

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Last Night in Pennsylvania (724)

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