She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home