He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
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Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
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I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.