I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.