Texts From Last Night

Last Night in California (626)

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  (626): View more from California

  I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?

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  (626): I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/9qof
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  Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why

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  (626): Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why http://tfl.nu/74jl
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  I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.

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  (626): I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger. http://tfl.nu/jsvx
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  I reek of latex and grilled onions.

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  Mission accomplished.

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  (626): I reek of latex and grilled onions. (626): Mission accomplished. http://tfl.nu/k1oy
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  It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."

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  (626): It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed." http://tfl.nu/13ua
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  It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me

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  And a merry methadone to all

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  (909): It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me (626): And a merry methadone to all http://tfl.nu/a55x
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  you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup

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  (626): you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup http://tfl.nu/p78v
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  My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.

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  (626): My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza. http://tfl.nu/x0uu
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  Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy

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  (626): Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy http://tfl.nu/8u1j
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  AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN

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  we're fated to lesbian

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  (626): AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN (1-626): we're fated to lesbian http://tfl.nu/bohp
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  So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?

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  (626): So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room? http://tfl.nu/5xcr
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  I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.

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  (626): I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime. http://tfl.nu/zedi
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  Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.

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  This is why you don't have nice things.

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  (626): Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread. (1-626): This is why you don't have nice things. http://tfl.nu/swqp
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  The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking

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  (626): The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking http://tfl.nu/7x03
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  We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40

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  (626): We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40 http://tfl.nu/yjln
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