Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave