I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.