My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.