I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.