High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
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And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
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Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY