how drunk are you?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Bring me that man meat
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.