You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
21 Distraught People Found Out They Had An STD
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days