Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover