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The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
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