It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
High School Students Hilariously Rank Celebrities By Their Stank For Class Project
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
15 Things You Truly Understand If You Sleep Next To Someone Who Snores Like A Rhinoceros Every Night
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room