I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???