On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I think people are normalizing furries
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks