Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
We smell like vodka and hangover
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I woke up under a house in Key West
try to milk me bitch
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?