Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (850)

Last Night in Florida (850)

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it's great music for shaving your balls

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(850): it's great music for shaving your balls http://tfl.nu/etrw

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We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.

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(850): We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun. http://tfl.nu/0mma

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I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.

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(850): I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before. http://tfl.nu/vbyg

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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.

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(850): She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out. http://tfl.nu/i2ji

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I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.

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(850): I don't remember much but I know I looked hot. http://tfl.nu/1lsd

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my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?

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(850): my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom? http://tfl.nu/5x0x

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She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever

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(850): She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever http://tfl.nu/uwj0

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All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.

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(850): All of my current injuries can be related back to sex. http://tfl.nu/ncc6

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So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.

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(850): So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm. http://tfl.nu/5svr

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Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.

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(850): Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day. http://tfl.nu/xqgd

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I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.

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(850): I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized. http://tfl.nu/cbfh

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Are you still giving blowjobs?

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Who is this?

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(850): Are you still giving blowjobs? (1-850): Who is this? http://tfl.nu/iq9v

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Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...

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(850): Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it... http://tfl.nu/c9zy

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Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.

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(850): Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual. http://tfl.nu/97w0

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You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.

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(850): You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus. http://tfl.nu/vr5q

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Last Night in Florida (850)

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