A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I woke up under a house in Key West
try to milk me bitch
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs