Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
These 17 People Made Horrible Decisions That Ruined Their Lives
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.