My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
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#1 Vag in a sexual context is gross.
#2 The image of said vag opening and closing at a fast pace choppily taking bites of a cock makes me feel not only non-sexual but also queezy.
My dick wants to play a game......RUN FROM THE HIPPO!!!!!!!!
Who else is poopin right now?
What girl says shit like this?
last time i said that to a guy was... oh yeah. never.
am i the only one who thinks this is funny! sounds like this girl has a decent sense of humor!
You mean my balls, chubby?
9:03 - I like ham.
9:12 - The preview alone was enough to make question if sex is worth the risk (it is, by the way)
Side note: I'm cool with all of the repetative, frequent posters on here; ie. Soviet Russia guy, sleezy lee, sven the fisherman, the "these pretzels are making me thirsty" guy, and even the "first" douches. That being said, Im not cool with the admiral. I highly dislike the admiral. Admiral, I do not want to be your friend.
That's some extreme kegelling!!
2:56 go kill yourself.
This is fake and sent in by some creepster dude.
There have been a lot of vagina texts lately. I guess the mods want a better imagination of what one feels like.
four four oh
five three two
one two two five
9:17 why do you feel sorry for me? I'm not attracted to girls that's all.
I'd never yell mercy to a good salad tossing
I say shit like this all the time....
Love this, if a girl said this to me I'd marry her tommorrow.
Ha! Who has seen that movie Teeth?
Ahhhhhhh aggressive vagina
it's funny no doubt, but if a girl said that to me I would never speak to her again....well that's not true, I'd go sleep with her THEN I'd never speak to her again.
9:03 ...nuns shouldn't look at tfln
What the fuck was 1:55 smoking ?
11:16, maybe she's drunk or just in a really horny mood for feminine reasons.
9:03AM I feel sorry for you. I would marry this girl.
while she may not be a whore, she is severely deficient at sexting.
Sounds like no inhabitions here. God I love that in a woman. It is way more fun.
Why can't you people see the humor in this?!
It's random and bizarre and amusing
Bahahahahah. Love it!
Something about referencing hippos while sexting just doesn't really turn me on...at all...
Next time maybe just reference some good ol doggie style with some hair pulling MUCH better
You deserve to be castrated and fucked in the ass by a chainsaw you sick fucking parasite.
I say cock...and i'm a girl
Ok first of all scariest image stuck in my head. And two is that what was meant when it was called a snapper.
why does everyone say she is a whore and shit. she could be sending this to her boyfriend
Because pussy juice feels good againts the unprotected dick? Maybe?
Damn! I need some cock in my life.
For all you people who think this is nasty. I think it's cute and hot. I like a girl with a sense of humor. Especially a horny one. So at the end of the joke you have sex. That works for me.
I thought this was hilarious!! But hey that's my type of humor.. Having lots of guy friends may do that to ya lol ps: doesn't make u a whore to joke around ;)
Why don't I know women like this?
@ Jan 4 10:04pm,, you failed so goddam hard
That doesn't make any sense. She's clearly either a virgin or not an English major. This text may be the worst metaphor of all time.
In Soviet Russia, family game night consists of various drinking games with hippos and horny vodka sluts.
Yeah so that's kind of not a good way to pick up guys. Ha all you have to do is show some skin. Or at least when you're 16 that's all:) ha.
A real lady at least says kitty cat
does the thought of this make anyone else sick?
slut. did u really send that to someone?
You can't just play with 1 vaginapotumus, where are the other 3?!
umm... who would this make horny? thats so frightening. i would never want to screw someone who said that to me... weeeeeeeeeeirdoooooo
im sorry that some girls have a sense of humor
ive totally sent something like this to my boyfriend
maybe she sent this to hers
10:12 not everyone is turned on by their dick goin in and out of another mans ass well givin him a reach around. So you do what you want with other men the rest of us without mental disorders will do what we do with women.
Ps womens bodies are beutiful especially their pussy's
god ellen schram is a huge slut
The worst part is I know a girl who would say this shit almost verbatim. Freaky.
girl said that to me i'd vomit
how about we play a game of not being a whore, you lost.
1014 I say cock all the time. It's like a size chart to me: penis (smallest), dick, cock (biggest). Add In wht other names u wnt but thts how I see it
1015 can suck my vagina
if i may ask, what is so good about 16 year old pussy? what's to say they're not loose and gross?
Why do girls get mad if on a one night stand if you shove your dick in their ass without asking. It's like you sucked my dick till it got hard took off your clothes and bended over in front of me what did you expect to happen.
gotta love dupage county
this is the first time i have ever wrote this on tfln but FAKE!!!!!!! and for the record i hate when ppl write that but FTW!! FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE! ok, i got it out of my system. sorry.
And 7:14 that was just awesome, im gonna use that with this chick i wanna plug lol
Totally agree, 8:19.
LolZ gooBeR = BooGeR!! ZOMG! That is tOo fuNNy ! I'm ShITtiNg out my VaGiNa!!! Whoewww
Like a hot dog down a hallway
I think I just fell in love.
I just wanna say im also a 630 and you are awesome. Way represent 630 with honor!
That doesn't sound appealing... I think you're doing it wrong.
Fucked in the ass by a chainsaw. Perfect for that douche. He probably thought it was really funny too. I'd feed him his own balls. Choke on that fucko.
Sounds like someone had a little too much to drink at family game night.
ps: jesus may love you, but i don't have to.
Probably fake, but good nontheless!
Greatest text message ever. I think I may be in love...
"that american apparel lace outfit is just as gross as the chick wearing it.... does anyone actually buy that stuff?!"
i was wondering if anyone else felt the same way... american apparel clothing and ads seem, by and large, really unattractive
I think i like u
Ashamed to have the same area code *shakes head*
What a skank!! A real lady would call it her poon.
How the hell does that even work?
...about the Jesus saves thing.
Best pickup line ever.
Omg! That's effin' awesome.
That's some funny shit!!
This was sent in by a guy. Girls don't say this shit.
My hippo cock wants to feed your vag
1:47 why would THIS be fake? There are hundreds of clearly fake texts on here but I'm pretty sure this isn't one of them...
ewww skank! no one says shit like this...wtf
Booger is almost like goober hahahahahahaha ohhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha... Oh my. Booger.
And 10:42 me too!! Hahahhaa
Omg I know who that is... Haha
Omg that's so scary!
3:15, the shit you just said is more "vile" than this text. Please get off this site if you have no sense of humor. Prissy bitches.
I played that with my sister
I like when a girl calls it her monkey
This chick sounds fun
not even close to turning me on but 1:58 hell yeah
worst referrence to sex.
e v e r.
on the bright side, though. I couldn't stop laughing.
Ur probably a fat bitch!!!
Wow, sounds like Miley Cyrus
In soviet russia Pussy eat cock Like dinosaur
How many girls really say cock???
I'd like to play a game of chutes and ladders with your ass
My dick wants to play a game of "oops, wrong hole" with your ass
Dude, 16 year olds may be hot, (Claire, if I was younger you would be mine) but you go to jail for that shit.
Said the fat girl to the asain
ummm, ass is better...notably guy ass.
Dear this girls vagina,
You will inquired a large sum of hiv and gov and aids and let's just say you will be missed very little.
Y don't I know these ppl lol
What... the fuck. I think I agree with 11:13
This is gross, granted. I just want to know if it worked.
i thought this was hilarious i couldn't stop laughing.
that is the worst game to reference sex to.... ever!! i would never say this to a guy, bf or not, i would have more class, or at least i'd think of something more witty and not gross!
My booty call says stuff like that, it's funny. And no, not a hippo at all.
No kidding 12:03. 16. Hahaha only tight if nothins been there. Once it is, oh well. Don't exercise, sag... Takes a bit of use and some kegels to make it tighter than it was before you even knew what it was that you were supposed to do with it.
Show some skin Claire
i'm embarassed to be from this area code.
that american apparel lace outfit is just as gross as the chick wearing it.... does anyone actually buy that stuff?!
too bad they dont have an "amazing night" button
Whoever says "girls don't talk this"...are guys clearly dating the wrong women. And you're also not getting laid enough.
My asshole wants to play a game of poop-chutes and ladders with your cock ;)
10:49 why you posting that?
Jesus saves 1 corinthians 6:9-11
I don't want to be one of the assholes who call out fake, but fake. Even the biggest whore knows better marketing than calling it a "vag." Sheesh.
Can I just say I agree with everyone from 12:01 #2 down?
My tongue wants to play lick da hiny with your dookie scissor.
I love playin that game ;)
-girl next door
You have a fat hungry vag? That's definitely gonna turn him on....
Thats a really gross way to put it...
I'm in love!
I will play that game with you... :)
12:16 it's such a terrible text it probably is Naperville.
Only in 630...
why anyone would want to have sex with a girl is beyond me. I mean seriously, why would you put your dick in something that looks like ham?
Chicks probably the same size as a hippo
This is terrifying.
This may have been said above in one of the replies but I didn't sit and read them all. Toward the beginning I saw some messages saying "fake, girls don't talk like this" and let me tell you, even though this text is totally stupid, YES, GIRLS TALK LIKE THIS.
Wow. U are pathetic 2:56. U probably wear all black and hate ur life. This is why u have no friends.
I Hope your gaping vaginatumus likes to eat herpes and the clap!
Dear god that's hilArious
If a girl said that to me it would probably be a turnn off or she is just really fat and thinks of herself as a hippo
This reminds me of the movie Teeth...
3:29 ive tried that and hit my middle back
You nasty cunting whore! Have some self respect. If your mouth is that filthy, I can't imagine how vile your vagina is. Go rent a fire truck and shove it's hose up your gaping cunt, and turn the water on, full blast, maybe you can get rid of 10% of the grime infestation.
Fuck you're nasty!
Yea that would fucking Hurt having a giant hippo pussy chewing on my cock.
11:41 wins post of the night.
Worst. Mental. Image. Ever.
Her vag is the size of a hippo?
this girl's crotch sounds like a vaccuum
Hell yea 630. Big money!
@2:56 ur a sick fuck. That's not even remotely funny u twisted sack of shit.
Damn, that makes me horny :)
Probably sent in by someone hoping to get on this site. It's not often you hear anybody talk like this as dirty talk. At least sound believable.
Hey 3:15, please swallow a knife. Thank you.
Greatest most epic words ever spoken fa sure
This has got to be one of the worst mental images I have ever encountered...