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  • #1 Vag in a sexual context is gross. #2 The image of said vag opening and closing at a fast pace choppily taking bites of a cock makes me feel not only non-sexual but also queezy.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:12pm
  • My dick wants to play a game......RUN FROM THE HIPPO!!!!!!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:11pm
  • Who else is poopin right now?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:38pm
  • What girl says shit like this?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:01pm
  • last time i said that to a guy was... oh yeah. never.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:08pm
  • am i the only one who thinks this is funny! sounds like this girl has a decent sense of humor!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:35pm
  • I'd never yell mercy to a good salad tossing -sleezy lee

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 8:34am
  • You mean my balls, chubby?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:10pm
  • This is fake and sent in by some creepster dude.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:32pm
  • four four oh five three two one two two five

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 6:40pm
  • 9:03 - I like ham. 9:12 - The preview alone was enough to make question if sex is worth the risk (it is, by the way) Side note: I'm cool with all of the repetative, frequent posters on here; ie. Soviet Russia guy, sleezy lee, sven the fisherman, the "these pretzels are making me thirsty" guy, and even the "first" douches. That being said, Im not cool with the admiral. I highly dislike the admiral. Admiral, I do not want to be your friend.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:50pm
  • There have been a lot of vagina texts lately. I guess the mods want a better imagination of what one feels like.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:15pm
  • Love this, if a girl said this to me I'd marry her tommorrow.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:40pm
  • Hahaha Why can't you people see the humor in this?! It's random and bizarre and amusing

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:36pm
  • 9:03AM I feel sorry for you. I would marry this girl.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:17am
  • it's funny no doubt, but if a girl said that to me I would never speak to her again....well that's not true, I'd go sleep with her THEN I'd never speak to her again.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:31pm
  • Ok first of all scariest image stuck in my head. And two is that what was meant when it was called a snapper.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:23am
  • 2:56 go kill yourself.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:04am
  • That's some extreme kegelling!! -sephy

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:41am
  • Ha! Who has seen that movie Teeth?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:12am
  • Ahhhhhhh aggressive vagina

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:53pm
  • 9:03 ...nuns shouldn't look at tfln --The Admiral

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 11:43am
  • Something about referencing hippos while sexting just doesn't really turn me on...at all... Next time maybe just reference some good ol doggie style with some hair pulling MUCH better

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 10:32am
  • 9:17 why do you feel sorry for me? I'm not attracted to girls that's all.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:20am
  • why does everyone say she is a whore and shit. she could be sending this to her boyfriend

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:24pm
  • What the fuck was 1:55 smoking ?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 2:13am
  • For all you people who think this is nasty. I think it's cute and hot. I like a girl with a sense of humor. Especially a horny one. So at the end of the joke you have sex. That works for me.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 15, 10 at 5:46am
  • I say shit like this all the time....

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 8:38am
  • That doesn't make any sense. She's clearly either a virgin or not an English major. This text may be the worst metaphor of all time.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 10:23am
  • Why don't I know women like this?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 2:20pm
  • Yeah so that's kind of not a good way to pick up guys. Ha all you have to do is show some skin. Or at least when you're 16 that's all:) ha. - Claire

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:28pm
  • I thought this was hilarious!! But hey that's my type of humor.. Having lots of guy friends may do that to ya lol ps: doesn't make u a whore to joke around ;)

    Submitted by PrivateprawR on Feb 25, 11 at 2:38am
  • 11:16, maybe she's drunk or just in a really horny mood for feminine reasons.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:28pm
  • does the thought of this make anyone else sick?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:45pm
  • im sorry that some girls have a sense of humor ive totally sent something like this to my boyfriend maybe she sent this to hers

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 6:25pm
  • @ Jan 4 10:04pm,, you failed so goddam hard

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 10:46am
  • In Soviet Russia, family game night consists of various drinking games with hippos and horny vodka sluts.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:02am
  • I say cock...and i'm a girl

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:42am
  • Because pussy juice feels good againts the unprotected dick? Maybe?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:07am
  • 1014 I say cock all the time. It's like a size chart to me: penis (smallest), dick, cock (biggest). Add In wht other names u wnt but thts how I see it

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:30am
  • You can't just play with 1 vaginapotumus, where are the other 3?!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:15am
  • while she may not be a whore, she is severely deficient at sexting.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:30pm
  • slut. did u really send that to someone?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:24am
  • girl said that to me i'd vomit

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:39pm
  • 1015 can suck my vagina Your pal, Astin Davis

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:16pm
  • Sounds like no inhabitions here. God I love that in a woman. It is way more fun.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:59pm
  • Bahahahahah. Love it!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 12:59am
  • if i may ask, what is so good about 16 year old pussy? what's to say they're not loose and gross?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:03am
  • god ellen schram is a huge slut

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 11:08am
  • Slut

    Submitted by Anonymous on Feb 4, 10 at 9:06pm
  • You deserve to be castrated and fucked in the ass by a chainsaw you sick fucking parasite.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:08am
  • Damn! I need some cock in my life.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:51pm
  • Sounds like someone had a little too much to drink at family game night. ps: jesus may love you, but i don't have to.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:13pm
  • "that american apparel lace outfit is just as gross as the chick wearing it.... does anyone actually buy that stuff?!" i was wondering if anyone else felt the same way... american apparel clothing and ads seem, by and large, really unattractive

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:13am
  • The worst part is I know a girl who would say this shit almost verbatim. Freaky.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:25am
  • this is the first time i have ever wrote this on tfln but FAKE!!!!!!! and for the record i hate when ppl write that but FTW!! FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE! ok, i got it out of my system. sorry. And 7:14 that was just awesome, im gonna use that with this chick i wanna plug lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 8:58am
  • How the hell does that even work?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:25am
  • What a skank!! A real lady would call it her poon.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:46am
  • Fucked in the ass by a chainsaw. Perfect for that douche. He probably thought it was really funny too. I'd feed him his own balls. Choke on that fucko.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:12am
  • Why do girls get mad if on a one night stand if you shove your dick in their ass without asking. It's like you sucked my dick till it got hard took off your clothes and bended over in front of me what did you expect to happen.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:12pm
  • I just wanna say im also a 630 and you are awesome. Way represent 630 with honor!

    Submitted by pizzaboy11 on Sep 3, 10 at 4:24am
  • That's hot!!!!.......

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:58am
  • Booger is almost like goober hahahahahahaha ohhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha... Oh my. Booger.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:41pm
  • Totally agree, 8:19.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 8:23am
  • My hippo cock wants to feed your vag

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:28pm
  • Best pickup line ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:41pm
  • A real lady at least says kitty cat

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:53am
  • I played that with my sister

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:02am
  • 10:12 not everyone is turned on by their dick goin in and out of another mans ass well givin him a reach around. So you do what you want with other men the rest of us without mental disorders will do what we do with women. Ps womens bodies are beutiful especially their pussy's

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:23pm
  • Omg! That's effin' awesome.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:12pm
  • I think i like u

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 21, 10 at 1:53am
  • Elaborate more

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 19, 10 at 11:03pm
  • Probably fake, but good nontheless!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 9, 10 at 10:54am
  • umm... who would this make horny? thats so frightening. i would never want to screw someone who said that to me... weeeeeeeeeeirdoooooo

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 7:43pm
  • how about we play a game of not being a whore, you lost.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 6:35pm
  • LolZ gooBeR = BooGeR!! ZOMG! That is tOo fuNNy ! I'm ShITtiNg out my VaGiNa!!! Whoewww

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:55am
  • Like a hot dog down a hallway

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:00am
  • ewww skank! no one says shit like this...wtf

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:50am
  • Dude, 16 year olds may be hot, (Claire, if I was younger you would be mine) but you go to jail for that shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:36pm
  • That's some funny shit!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:57am
  • Greatest text message ever. I think I may be in love...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 8:27am
  • Omg that's so scary!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:14am
  • Ew.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 6, 10 at 12:47am
  • I'd like to play a game of chutes and ladders with your ass

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 11:33am
  • Wow, sounds like Miley Cyrus

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 10:28am
  • ...about the Jesus saves thing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:57pm
  • 1:47 why would THIS be fake? There are hundreds of clearly fake texts on here but I'm pretty sure this isn't one of them...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 6:13pm
  • Omg I know who that is... Haha

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:40am
  • This was sent in by a guy. Girls don't say this shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:12pm
  • worst referrence to sex. e v e r.  on the bright side, though. I couldn't stop laughing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:09am
  • Fuckin skank.....!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:01am
  • not even close to turning me on but 1:58 hell yeah

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 2:29am
  • In soviet russia Pussy eat cock Like dinosaur

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:37am
  • How many girls really say cock???

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:14pm
  • gotta love dupage county

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:52pm
  • Ur probably a fat bitch!!!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:04pm
  • My dick wants to play a game of "oops, wrong hole" with your ass -sleezy lee

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 7:14am
  • I think I just fell in love.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 6:27pm
  • i'm embarassed to be from this area code.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 2:00pm
  • That doesn't sound appealing... I think you're doing it wrong.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 10:22am
  • I like when a girl calls it her monkey

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:56am
  • at 9:07 ummm, ass is better...notably guy ass.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:14am
  • My booty call says stuff like that, it's funny. And no, not a hippo at all.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 8:54am
  • What... the fuck. I think I agree with 11:13

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:15pm
  • Y don't I know these ppl lol

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 31, 10 at 9:21pm
  • 3:15, the shit you just said is more "vile" than this text. Please get off this site if you have no sense of humor. Prissy bitches.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 4:24am
  • No kidding 12:03. 16. Hahaha only tight if nothins been there. Once it is, oh well. Don't exercise, sag... Takes a bit of use and some kegels to make it tighter than it was before you even knew what it was that you were supposed to do with it.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:29am
  • This chick sounds fun

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:54pm
  • that american apparel lace outfit is just as gross as the chick wearing it.... does anyone actually buy that stuff?!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:01am
  • i thought this was hilarious i couldn't stop laughing.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:31am
  • Show some skin Claire

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:29pm
  • I don't want to be one of the assholes who call out fake, but fake. Even the biggest whore knows better marketing than calling it a "vag." Sheesh.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:16pm
  • And 10:42 me too!! Hahahhaa

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:50pm
  • Dear this girls vagina, You will inquired a large sum of hiv and gov and aids and let's just say you will be missed very little. Your pal, Astin Davis

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:14pm
  • too bad they dont have an "amazing night" button

    Submitted by SilkyJohnson on Jul 7, 10 at 12:10am
  • This is gross, granted. I just want to know if it worked.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 7:14am
  • Can I just say I agree with everyone from 12:01 #2 down?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:06am
  • 10:49 why you posting that?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:57pm
  • Whoever says "girls don't talk this"...are guys clearly dating the wrong women. And you're also not getting laid enough.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 11:23am
  • Ashamed to have the same area code *shakes head*

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:32am
  • 12:16 it's such a terrible text it probably is Naperville.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:40am
  • My asshole wants to play a game of poop-chutes and ladders with your cock ;)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 2:16am
  • Chicks probably the same size as a hippo

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 6:58am
  • Thats a really gross way to put it...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:24pm
  • I will play that game with you... :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:14pm
  • You have a fat hungry vag? That's definitely gonna turn him on....

    Submitted by blackbird17 on Jul 28, 10 at 2:17am
  • If a girl said that to me it would probably be a turnn off or she is just really fat and thinks of herself as a hippo

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 8:19am
  • My tongue wants to play lick da hiny with your dookie scissor. Rimjob John

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 7:29am
  • Said the fat girl to the asain

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 1:40am
  • Only in 630...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 6:07am
  • I Hope your gaping vaginatumus likes to eat herpes and the clap!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 12:21am
  • This is terrifying.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 9, 10 at 5:29pm
  • Jesus saves 1 corinthians 6:9-11

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:49pm
  • umm.... okay

    Submitted by pen15 on Feb 7, 10 at 4:45pm
  • This reminds me of the movie Teeth...

    Submitted by whitechapelgrin on May 16, 11 at 3:02pm
  • 3:29 ive tried that and hit my middle back

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 4:15am
  • You nasty cunting whore! Have some self respect. If your mouth is that filthy, I can't imagine how vile your vagina is. Go rent a fire truck and shove it's hose up your gaping cunt, and turn the water on, full blast, maybe you can get rid of 10% of the grime infestation. Fuck you're nasty!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:15am
  • Wow. U are pathetic 2:56. U probably wear all black and hate ur life. This is why u have no friends.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:08am
  • I love playin that game ;) -girl next door

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:59pm
  • that is the worst game to reference sex to.... ever!! i would never say this to a guy, bf or not, i would have more class, or at least i'd think of something more witty and not gross!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:01pm
  • why anyone would want to have sex with a girl is beyond me. I mean seriously, why would you put your dick in something that looks like ham?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:03am
  • Lucky

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 27, 10 at 1:28am
  • Yea that would fucking Hurt having a giant hippo pussy chewing on my cock.

    Submitted by argmebeapirate on Feb 9, 11 at 9:35pm
  • I'm in love!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Apr 4, 10 at 4:58pm
  • Dear god that's hilArious

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 8:28pm
  • 11:41 wins post of the night. Your pal, Astin Davis

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:49pm
  • Hell yea 630. Big money!

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:50pm
  • Barf duuuuuuuuude.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 12:55am
  • Her vag is the size of a hippo?

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 11, 10 at 5:50pm
  • Worst. Mental. Image. Ever.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:35am
  • @2:56 ur a sick fuck. That's not even remotely funny u twisted sack of shit.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:01am
  • Damn, that makes me horny :)

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 10:24pm
  • this girl's crotch sounds like a vaccuum

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 6, 10 at 11:41pm
  • This may have been said above in one of the replies but I didn't sit and read them all. Toward the beginning I saw some messages saying "fake, girls don't talk like this" and let me tell you, even though this text is totally stupid, YES, GIRLS TALK LIKE THIS.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 10:53am
  • shelby?

    Submitted by bretarded on Mar 17, 10 at 4:14am
  • Probably sent in by someone hoping to get on this site. It's not often you hear anybody talk like this as dirty talk. At least sound believable.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 6:03am
  • Hey 3:15, please swallow a knife. Thank you.

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 3:27am
  • This has got to be one of the worst mental images I have ever encountered...

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 7, 10 at 9:33am
  • Greatest most epic words ever spoken fa sure

    Submitted by Anonymous on Jan 24, 10 at 8:04pm