My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
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#1 Vag in a sexual context is gross.
#2 The image of said vag opening and closing at a fast pace choppily taking bites of a cock makes me feel not only non-sexual but also queezy.
My dick wants to play a game......RUN FROM THE HIPPO!!!!!!!!
Who else is poopin right now?
What girl says shit like this?
last time i said that to a guy was... oh yeah. never.
am i the only one who thinks this is funny! sounds like this girl has a decent sense of humor!
I'd never yell mercy to a good salad tossing
This is fake and sent in by some creepster dude.
Love this, if a girl said this to me I'd marry her tommorrow.
four four oh
five three two
one two two five
9:03 - I like ham.
9:12 - The preview alone was enough to make question if sex is worth the risk (it is, by the way)
Side note: I'm cool with all of the repetative, frequent posters on here; ie. Soviet Russia guy, sleezy lee, sven the fisherman, the "these pretzels are making me thirsty" guy, and even the "first" douches. That being said, Im not cool with the admiral. I highly dislike the admiral. Admiral, I do not want to be your friend.
There have been a lot of vagina texts lately. I guess the mods want a better imagination of what one feels like.
Why can't you people see the humor in this?!
It's random and bizarre and amusing
Ok first of all scariest image stuck in my head. And two is that what was meant when it was called a snapper.
You mean my balls, chubby?
That's some extreme kegelling!!
For all you people who think this is nasty. I think it's cute and hot. I like a girl with a sense of humor. Especially a horny one. So at the end of the joke you have sex. That works for me.
it's funny no doubt, but if a girl said that to me I would never speak to her again....well that's not true, I'd go sleep with her THEN I'd never speak to her again.
9:03AM I feel sorry for you. I would marry this girl.
Something about referencing hippos while sexting just doesn't really turn me on...at all...
Next time maybe just reference some good ol doggie style with some hair pulling MUCH better
I say shit like this all the time....
9:03 ...nuns shouldn't look at tfln
9:17 why do you feel sorry for me? I'm not attracted to girls that's all.
In Soviet Russia, family game night consists of various drinking games with hippos and horny vodka sluts.
What the fuck was 1:55 smoking ?
Ahhhhhhh aggressive vagina
why does everyone say she is a whore and shit. she could be sending this to her boyfriend
Why don't I know women like this?
That doesn't make any sense. She's clearly either a virgin or not an English major. This text may be the worst metaphor of all time.
11:16, maybe she's drunk or just in a really horny mood for feminine reasons.
Ha! Who has seen that movie Teeth?
2:56 go kill yourself.
Yeah so that's kind of not a good way to pick up guys. Ha all you have to do is show some skin. Or at least when you're 16 that's all:) ha.
Sounds like no inhabitions here. God I love that in a woman. It is way more fun.
slut. did u really send that to someone?
while she may not be a whore, she is severely deficient at sexting.
@ Jan 4 10:04pm,, you failed so goddam hard
I thought this was hilarious!! But hey that's my type of humor.. Having lots of guy friends may do that to ya lol ps: doesn't make u a whore to joke around ;)
I say cock...and i'm a girl
does the thought of this make anyone else sick?
Damn! I need some cock in my life.
The worst part is I know a girl who would say this shit almost verbatim. Freaky.
girl said that to me i'd vomit
1014 I say cock all the time. It's like a size chart to me: penis (smallest), dick, cock (biggest). Add In wht other names u wnt but thts how I see it
1015 can suck my vagina
im sorry that some girls have a sense of humor
ive totally sent something like this to my boyfriend
maybe she sent this to hers
Because pussy juice feels good againts the unprotected dick? Maybe?
Sounds like someone had a little too much to drink at family game night.
ps: jesus may love you, but i don't have to.
Bahahahahah. Love it!
How the hell does that even work?
You can't just play with 1 vaginapotumus, where are the other 3?!
Omg that's so scary!
My hippo cock wants to feed your vag
this is the first time i have ever wrote this on tfln but FAKE!!!!!!! and for the record i hate when ppl write that but FTW!! FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE FAKE! ok, i got it out of my system. sorry.
And 7:14 that was just awesome, im gonna use that with this chick i wanna plug lol
You deserve to be castrated and fucked in the ass by a chainsaw you sick fucking parasite.
Dude, 16 year olds may be hot, (Claire, if I was younger you would be mine) but you go to jail for that shit.
I just wanna say im also a 630 and you are awesome. Way represent 630 with honor!
god ellen schram is a huge slut
Best pickup line ever.
Why do girls get mad if on a one night stand if you shove your dick in their ass without asking. It's like you sucked my dick till it got hard took off your clothes and bended over in front of me what did you expect to happen.
Omg! That's effin' awesome.
What a skank!! A real lady would call it her poon.
Totally agree, 8:19.
Fucked in the ass by a chainsaw. Perfect for that douche. He probably thought it was really funny too. I'd feed him his own balls. Choke on that fucko.
That's some funny shit!!
Probably fake, but good nontheless!
In soviet russia Pussy eat cock Like dinosaur
...about the Jesus saves thing.
I think i like u
if i may ask, what is so good about 16 year old pussy? what's to say they're not loose and gross?
This was sent in by a guy. Girls don't say this shit.
how about we play a game of not being a whore, you lost.
I'd like to play a game of chutes and ladders with your ass
A real lady at least says kitty cat
1:47 why would THIS be fake? There are hundreds of clearly fake texts on here but I'm pretty sure this isn't one of them...
Wow, sounds like Miley Cyrus
LolZ gooBeR = BooGeR!! ZOMG! That is tOo fuNNy ! I'm ShITtiNg out my VaGiNa!!! Whoewww
I played that with my sister
ewww skank! no one says shit like this...wtf
that american apparel lace outfit is just as gross as the chick wearing it.... does anyone actually buy that stuff?!
gotta love dupage county
Show some skin Claire
10:12 not everyone is turned on by their dick goin in and out of another mans ass well givin him a reach around. So you do what you want with other men the rest of us without mental disorders will do what we do with women.
Ps womens bodies are beutiful especially their pussy's
"that american apparel lace outfit is just as gross as the chick wearing it.... does anyone actually buy that stuff?!"
i was wondering if anyone else felt the same way... american apparel clothing and ads seem, by and large, really unattractive
Booger is almost like goober hahahahahahaha ohhhhh hahahahahahahahahahaha... Oh my. Booger.
Ur probably a fat bitch!!!
That doesn't sound appealing... I think you're doing it wrong.
What... the fuck. I think I agree with 11:13
This is gross, granted. I just want to know if it worked.
not even close to turning me on but 1:58 hell yeah
Like a hot dog down a hallway
i'm embarassed to be from this area code.
Whoever says "girls don't talk this"...are guys clearly dating the wrong women. And you're also not getting laid enough.
worst referrence to sex.
e v e r.
on the bright side, though. I couldn't stop laughing.
How many girls really say cock???
umm... who would this make horny? thats so frightening. i would never want to screw someone who said that to me... weeeeeeeeeeirdoooooo
My asshole wants to play a game of poop-chutes and ladders with your cock ;)
And 10:42 me too!! Hahahhaa
Y don't I know these ppl lol
I think I just fell in love.
My booty call says stuff like that, it's funny. And no, not a hippo at all.
Greatest text message ever. I think I may be in love...
3:15, the shit you just said is more "vile" than this text. Please get off this site if you have no sense of humor. Prissy bitches.
I don't want to be one of the assholes who call out fake, but fake. Even the biggest whore knows better marketing than calling it a "vag." Sheesh.
My dick wants to play a game of "oops, wrong hole" with your ass
No kidding 12:03. 16. Hahaha only tight if nothins been there. Once it is, oh well. Don't exercise, sag... Takes a bit of use and some kegels to make it tighter than it was before you even knew what it was that you were supposed to do with it.
I like when a girl calls it her monkey
Omg I know who that is... Haha
Thats a really gross way to put it...
12:16 it's such a terrible text it probably is Naperville.
ummm, ass is better...notably guy ass.
i thought this was hilarious i couldn't stop laughing.
Dear this girls vagina,
You will inquired a large sum of hiv and gov and aids and let's just say you will be missed very little.
Chicks probably the same size as a hippo
3:29 ive tried that and hit my middle back
Can I just say I agree with everyone from 12:01 #2 down?
I will play that game with you... :)
too bad they dont have an "amazing night" button
Only in 630...
I love playin that game ;)
-girl next door
10:49 why you posting that?
Jesus saves 1 corinthians 6:9-11
This is terrifying.
This chick sounds fun
My tongue wants to play lick da hiny with your dookie scissor.
Ashamed to have the same area code *shakes head*
This reminds me of the movie Teeth...
Wow. U are pathetic 2:56. U probably wear all black and hate ur life. This is why u have no friends.
Said the fat girl to the asain
If a girl said that to me it would probably be a turnn off or she is just really fat and thinks of herself as a hippo
that is the worst game to reference sex to.... ever!! i would never say this to a guy, bf or not, i would have more class, or at least i'd think of something more witty and not gross!
Her vag is the size of a hippo?
I Hope your gaping vaginatumus likes to eat herpes and the clap!
Hell yea 630. Big money!
Yea that would fucking Hurt having a giant hippo pussy chewing on my cock.
You have a fat hungry vag? That's definitely gonna turn him on....
Worst. Mental. Image. Ever.
You nasty cunting whore! Have some self respect. If your mouth is that filthy, I can't imagine how vile your vagina is. Go rent a fire truck and shove it's hose up your gaping cunt, and turn the water on, full blast, maybe you can get rid of 10% of the grime infestation.
Fuck you're nasty!
Dear god that's hilArious
I'm in love!
This may have been said above in one of the replies but I didn't sit and read them all. Toward the beginning I saw some messages saying "fake, girls don't talk like this" and let me tell you, even though this text is totally stupid, YES, GIRLS TALK LIKE THIS.
11:41 wins post of the night.
this girl's crotch sounds like a vaccuum
Probably sent in by someone hoping to get on this site. It's not often you hear anybody talk like this as dirty talk. At least sound believable.
Hey 3:15, please swallow a knife. Thank you.
why anyone would want to have sex with a girl is beyond me. I mean seriously, why would you put your dick in something that looks like ham?
@2:56 ur a sick fuck. That's not even remotely funny u twisted sack of shit.
Damn, that makes me horny :)
Greatest most epic words ever spoken fa sure
This has got to be one of the worst mental images I have ever encountered...