I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
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Sounds like you are too stupid to sext or fuck for that matter!
Or get a professional photographer. Trade pics for an entry permit.
I really want to know how this happened. For the future, here's a hint: Get a Gorillapod.
Gorilla pod??? Interested!
use a wide-angle lense