The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I think my moral compass just broke
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.