Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
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And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
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I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."