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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
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