Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."