Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (305)

Last Night in Florida (305)

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I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.

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(305): I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me. http://tfl.nu/8pa6

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But college guys get to crossfade so there's that

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No idea what that is

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Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...

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I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words

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(408): But college guys get to crossfade so there's that (305): No idea what that is (408): Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together... (305): I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words http://tfl.nu/rs53

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No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.

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(305): No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen. http://tfl.nu/b2oj

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to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter

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(305): to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter http://tfl.nu/2ljl

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Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.

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(305): Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978. http://tfl.nu/6hzj

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We don't watch enough power rangers

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(305): We don't watch enough power rangers http://tfl.nu/xqyy

Replies (7) Good night (582) Bad night (193) Order T-Shirt
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(305): View more from Florida

We have so much sex to catch up on

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(305): We have so much sex to catch up on http://tfl.nu/h3pn

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Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.

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(305): Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault. http://tfl.nu/pad6

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So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates

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(305): So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates http://tfl.nu/kad8

Replies (11) Good night (306) Bad night (1568)
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Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"

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(305): Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now" http://tfl.nu/z261

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I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.

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(305): I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again. http://tfl.nu/m5jy

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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.

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(305): It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs. http://tfl.nu/6i5r

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You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...

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(305): You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol... http://tfl.nu/hrys

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The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.

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(305): The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies. http://tfl.nu/h31z

Replies (9) Good night (2228) Bad night (462) Order T-Shirt
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My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?

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(305): My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become? http://tfl.nu/9kst

Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt

Last Night in Florida (305)

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