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MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
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