I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..