Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.