What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.