What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.