Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.