Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
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Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
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I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.