I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.