as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.