was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list