Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!