dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.