I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?