Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (972)

Last Night in Texas (972)

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Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?

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(972): Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama? http://tfl.nu/w817

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Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.

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(972): Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight. http://tfl.nu/7ped

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Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.

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(972): Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself. http://tfl.nu/6w0d

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Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...

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Was she wearing cherry chapstick??

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No. Life's not always a fairytale.....

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(972): Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan... (214): Was she wearing cherry chapstick?? (972): No. Life's not always a fairytale..... http://tfl.nu/2nel

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Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world

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(972): Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world http://tfl.nu/83f8

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You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.

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(972): You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried. http://tfl.nu/sffp

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Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.

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(972): Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip. http://tfl.nu/klsb

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I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.

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(972): I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up. http://tfl.nu/rj29

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So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.

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(972): So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office. http://tfl.nu/rm9r

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probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time

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i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"

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(214): probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time (972): i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!" http://tfl.nu/dprb

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Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.

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(972): Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife. http://tfl.nu/0n10

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My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101

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(972): My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101 http://tfl.nu/qihv

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You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"

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(972): You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry" http://tfl.nu/fk1l

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she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.

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(972): she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick. http://tfl.nu/7fj1

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I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.

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(972): I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it. http://tfl.nu/h8bb

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Last Night in Texas (972)

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