I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.