Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
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Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
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I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days