He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Dating After Heartbreak
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it