how drunk are you?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
lol hangovers are for mortals.