We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.