I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
I am so proud to call you my friend
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...