Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
I am so proud to call you my friend
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.