Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Khloé Kardashian Finally Speaks Out About The Tristan Thompson Cheating Scandal
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
I am so proud to call you my friend
15 Porn Memes You’re Only Allowed To Laugh At If You’re Over 18
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.