Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
nug lovin. lovin nugs.