How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.