I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.