Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (224)

Last Night in Illinois (224)

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(314): View more from Missouri

You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

(224): View more from Illinois

I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

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(314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm

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(224): View more from Illinois

I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am

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(224): I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am http://tfl.nu/pfco

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?

(224): View more from Illinois

50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.

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(262): You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend? (224): 50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward. http://tfl.nu/qmja

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(224): View more from Illinois

bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs

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(224): bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs http://tfl.nu/2u5i

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(224): View more from Illinois

I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.

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(224): I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog. http://tfl.nu/7iet

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(224): View more from Illinois

I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.

(858): View more from California

I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.

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(224): I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman. (858): I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect. http://tfl.nu/7efm

Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (159)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Is it rude if I don't go?

(248): View more from Michigan

No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.

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(224): Is it rude if I don't go? (248): No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party. http://tfl.nu/zhsj

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(847): View more from Illinois

It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.

(224): View more from Illinois

Those were right hand only?

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(847): It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times. (224): Those were right hand only? http://tfl.nu/iwna

Replies (2) Good night (553) Bad night (233)
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(224): View more from Illinois

He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.

(847): View more from Illinois

Incredible.

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(224): He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time. (847): Incredible. http://tfl.nu/oew8

Replies (6) Good night (1138) Bad night (268)
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(224): View more from Illinois

i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.

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(224): i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing. http://tfl.nu/a3ha

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(224): View more from Illinois

Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.

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(224): Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please. http://tfl.nu/hx0x

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(224): View more from Illinois

Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...

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(224): Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex... http://tfl.nu/9y7e

Replies (6) Good night (531) Bad night (843)
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(224): View more from Illinois

Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.

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(224): Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time. http://tfl.nu/eicx

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(224): View more from Illinois

Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.

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(224): Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test. http://tfl.nu/65e0

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(224): View more from Illinois

Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker

(847): View more from Illinois

Do you believe in miracles?

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(224): Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker (847): Do you believe in miracles? http://tfl.nu/9830

Replies (5) Good night (1199) Bad night (428)

Last Night in Illinois (224)

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