i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.