I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro