I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...