Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
So vagazzling was a success