I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.