I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that