THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.