Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Australia (+61)

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  (+61): View more from Australia

  He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.

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  (+61): He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it. http://tfl.nu/xk8c
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  So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?

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  (+61): So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma? http://tfl.nu/bhgl
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  And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho

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  (+61): And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho http://tfl.nu/t3gn
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  I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.

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  (+61): I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING. http://tfl.nu/8crd
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  It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby

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  Yah. Thai people are way too trusting

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  (+61): It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby (1+61): Yah. Thai people are way too trusting http://tfl.nu/j4hl
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  The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.

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  (+61): The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals. http://tfl.nu/0gao
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  We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house

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  (+61): We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house http://tfl.nu/x0d1
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  Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?

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  (+61): Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace? http://tfl.nu/wr2n
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  Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"

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  (+61): Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart" http://tfl.nu/icuk
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  IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES

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  (+61): IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES http://tfl.nu/noxs
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  I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.

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  (+61): I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis. http://tfl.nu/imc2
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  I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair

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  (+61): I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair http://tfl.nu/4pnl
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  I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.

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  (+61): I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that. http://tfl.nu/nlmq
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  He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.

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  (+61): He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked. http://tfl.nu/a1rb
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  First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.

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  (+61): First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost. http://tfl.nu/c1qe
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