he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
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I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.