You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
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Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.