His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I yelled at your uterus for you.