just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
stfu you slept on the patio!?!