Texts From Last Night · Last Night in (858)

Last Night in California (858)

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(224): View more from Illinois

I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.

(858): View more from California

I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.

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(224): I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman. (858): I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect. http://tfl.nu/7efm

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(858): View more from California

We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?

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(858): We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship? http://tfl.nu/s6j9

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(858): View more from California

Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.

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(858): Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water. http://tfl.nu/wcrd

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(858): View more from California

we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.

(858): View more from California

Where did he get the tophat?

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(858): we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat. (858): Where did he get the tophat? http://tfl.nu/1w08

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(858): View more from California

So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?

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(858): So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom? http://tfl.nu/h0sv

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(858): View more from California

He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"

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(858): He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup" http://tfl.nu/blqz

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(858): View more from California

Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?

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(858): Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body? http://tfl.nu/gksx

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(858): View more from California

The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.

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(858): The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out. http://tfl.nu/1ep1

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(858): View more from California

Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"

(1-858): View more from California

next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.

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(858): Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him" (1-858): next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective. http://tfl.nu/n75w

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(858): View more from California

you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.

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(858): you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you. http://tfl.nu/hkpv

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(858): View more from California

There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.

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(858): There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie. http://tfl.nu/bbcq

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(858): View more from California

PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.

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(858): PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS. http://tfl.nu/mje4

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(858): View more from California

CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!

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(858): CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples! http://tfl.nu/mwbo

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(858): View more from California

I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail

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(858): I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail http://tfl.nu/x9sf

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(858): View more from California

I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.

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(858): I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police. http://tfl.nu/cytj

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Last Night in California (858)

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