Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????