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While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
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