Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.