Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.