My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
my poor anus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.