Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
These 27 Hilarious People Wrote Their Own Obituaries
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
It's not a walk of shame if you run