Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.