You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.