Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.