And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.