I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.