Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list