Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Maryland (410)

Sort By: Date / Good Night / Bad Night

• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional http://tfl.nu/r1v2
  Replies (11) Good night (3648) Bad night (816) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes http://tfl.nu/11ee
  Replies (13) Good night (1435) Bad night (2297) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there http://tfl.nu/vhdj
  Replies (13) Good night (2631) Bad night (674) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her. http://tfl.nu/tg03
  Replies (94) Good night (3244) Bad night (8040) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with http://tfl.nu/po8c
  Replies (22) Good night (5886) Bad night (1462) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you. http://tfl.nu/a558
  Replies (9) Good night (4017) Bad night (671) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love. http://tfl.nu/0ws2
  Replies (22) Good night (747) Bad night (4824) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx http://tfl.nu/s1q1
  Replies (29) Good night (1945) Bad night (3361) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on. http://tfl.nu/o94m
  Replies (14) Good night (3805) Bad night (796) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand. http://tfl.nu/fda6
  Replies (39) Good night (1157) Bad night (4450) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle.. http://tfl.nu/lwyr
  Replies (14) Good night (7160) Bad night (554) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma http://tfl.nu/40s8
  Replies (8) Good night (751) Bad night (2970) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch. http://tfl.nu/9tc4
  Replies (15) Good night (829) Bad night (2598) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.

  (410): View more from Maryland

  engineering majors are such efficient drunks.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell. (410): engineering majors are such efficient drunks. http://tfl.nu/xm4l
  Replies (21) Good night (6714) Bad night (380)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem. http://tfl.nu/4xkw
  Replies (34) Good night (300) Bad night (6258) Order T-Shirt