Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination