Texts From Last Night

Last Night in Alaska (907)

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  (907): View more from Alaska

  So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"

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  (907): So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!" http://tfl.nu/9w9p
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece

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  (907): That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece http://tfl.nu/9o1k
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  I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

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  (907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8
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  I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.

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  (907): I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream. http://tfl.nu/8o4c
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  There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.

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  I wholeheartedly concur

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  (907): There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail. (307): I wholeheartedly concur http://tfl.nu/eyej
  Replies (5) Good night (968) Bad night (174)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.

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  (907): You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug. http://tfl.nu/t259
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  I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.

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  (907): I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here. http://tfl.nu/70da
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.

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  (907): When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on. http://tfl.nu/9zlu
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea

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  (907): Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea http://tfl.nu/9w6p
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  Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.

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  (907): Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless. http://tfl.nu/ncqk
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  Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent

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  (907): Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent http://tfl.nu/4dji
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing

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  (907): I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing http://tfl.nu/5qyn
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  I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.

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  (907): I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes. http://tfl.nu/mxr7
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  Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador

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  (907): Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador http://tfl.nu/015q
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  I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single

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  (907): I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single http://tfl.nu/2snv
  Replies (3) Good night (304) Bad night (843)